Looking to the future

Good morning my lovely's,

I'm hoping this is a happier blog post (My blog posts are rather like a very fast rollercoaster and I am more than happy to get off it now, care to join me?

Over the past few days I've been dealing with some internal issues with my own self. Today I woke up not feeling a fill of dread within me but of hope, I saw a tiny glimmer of daylight ahead and I'm hoping that I am soon out of the tunnel and into the daylight.

I realised last night that I am not the usual fun and bubbly me when I talk to my very dear friends and family and this is down to me, no one else. I realised that I'd become bogged down so heavy in green slimy *everyday* sludge that I couldn't move and couldn't see MY WORLD as it truly is. I was holding onto a memory of the past and assumed that that is the way things should be now and for always. I had come to believe that my world should stay the same...the very thing that I teach to others to Un-Believe! A little bit of pot-kettle-black I think!

So gladly I have broke through that greem slimy sludge and realised just how life and my lack of attention had changed MY WORLD within and without. I am now on day 8 of my day off from teaching at a school (I needed this break!) and I am slowly untangling the mess that I've created over the past couple of years, but more so this year in particular.

I haven't been very attentive to the relationships that matter to me most. I have let my relationship with my Mother slip due to being far too tired to even commit to normal conversation, my relationship with my Sister has become, in my opinion empty at times as I am quite simply, NEVER THERE! This saddens me so much, so so much. I love my Mother and my Sister more than life itself and to think that I have been neglecting them, ignorning them and the thought of not being there for them, quite honestly makes me feel nauseous.
The thing that bugged me the most was that I was hell bent on complaining at the changes within my relationships. Well, of course relationships are going to change!! (im saying this to myself by the way!) It's a good thing that my relationship has changed with my sister, I should embrace it! My only real concern is that as it changes we may grow too far apart :( That is my biggest fear. I know it may sound silly, but I do fear that.
I am going to try my hardest to change this, but I know to begin with I'm going to feel all wierd and transparent where I think that "oooo they know that im trying to get on top of things here" Maybe that's not such a bad thing cause at least then they will know that I am trying.

It's rather strange that before I had all these feelings I had a dream where My sister and I were in America drinking in a old fashioned saloon bar, something like in the 1920's and then later in the dream we stepped out of the bar which had been converted into apartments and we were in present day reality. (When I say 'present day' I mean it was sometime in the future...perhaps 4-5 years maybe) and We walked to Central Park and we were holding a Spirituality Fayre mostly connected to Angels, Faeries and Ascension. It was like a proper Mind Body and Spirit fayre but outdoors in the glorious sunshine. We were holding workshops together and seperately and also we were launching our very own Faerie themed oracle cards. My fabulously talented sister had created the imagery herself and I had created the messages and interpretations. The one workshop I saw us leading was where we were teaching the participants to work with our cards and the faeries.

When I told this dream to my Sister, she was like ~ We are going to be huge in America! She did say something else too, but I can't remember what exactly, I have a mind like a sieve. But I hope she still feels this way? I would love us to collaborate together on a project, that would just be amazing <3 So I am going to keep aiming for that...Hopefully we'll all be feeling much happier soon. I have never been to the USA before, but I would like to go one day...mainly for the *Sex and the City* Tour haha, but I'd also like to visit ...forgot the name!! (Told you, brain like a sieve!) So, the last word I'd like to say i'll let *a picture paint a thousand words* to those I love and to whom this blog post is dedicated to;

Healing the Past in the Present.

Im writing a book about my spiritual journey and one thing thats happening throughout my writing right now is that I'm having to exume my past from the Grave I quite happily placed it in. In one way i don't mind because it will help people realise how I got to the place I am today (which is no where magnificent I must warn you), but if I could chose to not go there I really wouldn't need showing twice the diversion.

Many of the issues that are coming to the surface in my writing are also coming to the surface in my own life, my thoughts and feelings are awakening again and have time travelled back there. I don't recommend it. But it must mean that I havent healed from that time in my life. So I have to try and work through these issues once and for all, 'cause I never want to have these feelings unearthed again.

What is "that time" in my life I hear you ponder, well it's my teen years, before I lost my Dad. Literally those two years that were spent at high school before I was home tutored. Basically I was bullied in my eyes quite badly, my own friends literally turned on me, it all happened like switching on a light, I was able to see and to be honest the view was not pretty. Suddenly my closest friends who had travelled with me through Nursery, Infant, Junior school and then expanded into a bigger groups of friends in High School, they suddenly turned on me. I was seeing people that I thought I knew, and I no longer knew them at all. To think you know someone and have that illusion ripped away is awful. It really makes you question yourself.

Anyway, over the years after completely losing my confidence and self esteem, I thought I'd laid those ghosts to rest. I've recieved to appologies from those friends who meant the most to me, the others, well to be honest, they can go to hell for all I care. I literally don't allow them to bother me at all. One of those friends who appologised to me, is still now a really good friend of mine, we're rebuilding that friendship we had. We're finding that we've changed...I think she had the biggest shock to find out Im a psychic witch who believes and talks to faeries (Haha, even I want to laugh).

I don't think im still hurting from who did what to me, I think it's the actual process of how it happened. the sudden change...perhaos not such a sudden change, perhaps they'd been changing from the person I knew into who they became long before I even realised. That's my theory. That's why I think it was such a shock. It was because I had allowed myself to only see what I wanted to see not what was actually there to be seen? Or was it? Could it have been that they weren't willing to show me who they truely were until they were ready to come out of the closet? Were they a werewolf that I'd only seen in daylight that I happened to have caught at midnight on the off chance?

You can tell I'm a lover of Twilight hey?

But seriously, those exact issues have come to the surface again, and I KNOW it's because I need to work on those issues. I don't know how, and I don't know why. I might just blame Mercury retrograding or even better, the Waning Moon that just so happened to bring up all this baggage for me to release, and heal.

Thanks for reading everyone, it's nice to finally get it out properly and begin to process it.

Finding the Artist Within

Well, I've been thinking recently about just how much I miss being creative.

I was brought up helping my Mum make bedding and curtains for our home using a sewing machine, watching Dad paint and sketch, and we were always doing something creative of some sort. I always had one of those games or kits at christmas or on my birthday like "Mosiac at home", "tapestry", "Cross stitch" and my favourite was "Ancient Eygptian Archaeology kit" where you had to did in the sand to find the pieces and then glue them together and restore it to a perfect standard by painting it. I loved it. I was always actively encouraged to express my creativity.

Lately my daily routine has become so uninspiring and ... well literally dreadful that I thought about all the things I miss. I miss beginning a cross stitch and seeing the picture develop before my eyes knowing that the picture has been created with tiny 'Kisses', I miss sketching and appreciating my talent...which is minimal I can assure you, I miss sewing and making homemade objects that add extra warmth and personality to the home. But most of all, I miss being able to get up on a morning feeling refreshed, ready to start my day with morning pages, before settling down to write for an hour or two. As a primary school Trainee Teacher, this is just impossible. I simply cannot do it. Which has left me feeling rather inadequate and a 'failure' to be honest. I LOVE writing, absolutely LOVE it, yet I'm finding that I have no time to do it. I know it's easy to say "MAKE TIME", if I could I would but we are all only presented with 24 hours in a day, 2 hours on a monring are spent waking up, smelling the coffee and getting ready for work, then Im at work for 6-7 hours, I come home end up planning for the next day's lessons, having something to eat, an hour to relax before showering and getting to bed. Then the day starts all over again. How sad is that? Like really, heart wrenching sad?

That's without attempting to work happily on my Faerie Whisperer career.... a whole different story.

Well I grabbed a couple of hours last night and wrote in a speedy fashion what I call a character sketch of Ariel (She's in my previous writings) and Im keen to develop her into an amazing young woman. And I actually attempted to sketch a goddess and today I've started to paint her up, but the skin tone is NOT going to plan... suprise suprise hey?

Well, I just wanted to share the sketch come painting with you, I call her Moon Goddess© very original I thought :P


Let me know what you think xxx

Taken from my Sister blog : The Creative Witch Inside

All things must come to an end...?

Hiya,

Im thinking of closing down this blog. Ive had it going for a couple pf years now but I don't get any interaction from any posts that I do post...

It's going to be so sad! I love this blog, but I simply don't see the point of talking to myself.

If you want me to keep the blog open, respond to this post, otherwise it's being deleted.

Aurora xx

Faerie Whisperer TV

Hi all,

This is a really short blog post but it's an update all the same.

I've bitten the bullet and create some YouTube Videos, now you can view these on my very own YouTube Channel called *Faerie Whisperer TV*.

Please subscribe & show your support for me.

Thank you xxxx

A busy Faerie Witch

I realise I haven't blogged on here since the 16th October and that really makes me sad. I remember creating this blog as a way of spreading my voice and then slowly I began to find less and less time to blog, so you became less and less able to know what's going on in my life. So do we ever 'make' time to continue working on things that have strong meaning for us? Can we 'make' time?
I believe we can, but I also know how hard it is to go to work, come home, have family time, work on your writing career, relax and then find time to update websites, social media sites, and then blog. Sometimes blogging is just too much hard work...I even think sometimes that I've forgotten how to blog so I may use some time this weekend to have a travel around your blogs and re-coach myself on how to blog!
I love my blog and know that I really should make time for it, and hopefully I will one day be able to manage my time more effectively...(I am learning...I'm slowly getting there...I promise).

So what have I been upto?

Well, I've taken on more responsibilty at work as a teacher, I'm now not only assisting in the classroom but am teaching the lower ability children Numeracy (maths) and Literacy (English) 4 days a week with no input from the main class teacher. I also teach the whole of year 4 RE which I enjoy, especially this term as we are learning about Christmas and I'm able to sprinkle in some info about Yule...I had to!

I've had another column published with *Magickal Media* where I am *The Faerie Witch Inside*, I mainly share my faerie wiccan beliefs through a type of diary entry...well, sort of. I write from the heart about what I feel readers will be interested in.

FAE Magazine, the Winter issue is out now, so make sure you Purchase a Copy to read my latest column all about the Snow Queen and how she can help you over the coming months.

I haven't been able to write my Morning Pages since going back to work, I simply haven't got time :( well I haven't organised my time correctly.)

I had an amazing experience with 11/11/11 yesterday, you can read all about it here

I'm also spending time writing my first ever book about faeries. It's exciting and rather cleansing as I write about my journey, it can also be raw at some times but I trust in the process.

Please come and join my Facebook Page if you haven't already, it's the one sure way that you can connect with me on a daily basis!

Right, I am off to read your blogs and learn how to write a blog properly again haha.

Lots of Faerie Blessings,
Aurora